74,000 words and counting

At the beginning of this year, after the experience of seeing my drafts laid bare and exposed in the exhibition at Stephen Lawrence Gallery, I decided to revise most of what I had written so far. Revising Part 1 went well, I was able to identify the blind spots fairly easily and find the right resolutions. I entered an excerpt of Part 1 into a competition - the prize being a subsidised place on a professional development programme for writers who have completed a draft of their first novel and would like to spend some dedicated time developing it further under the guidance of writer-mentors and agents. I didn't get selected for the programme - but I was a runner up and offered a whole manuscript appraisal. The judges were a professional writer, publisher and agent, so for me this was a very positive outcome. I've never shown my novel to anyone in the literary industry and the fact they thought it demonstrated great potential, a strong lead character with an individual voice, was a boost to my confidence.

Revising Part 2 has been more tricky. I have struggled. Perhaps this is because in Part 2 I have to make decisions and resolve some of the teasers and plot lines set up in Part 1. The main problem is that the denouement at the end of Part 2 no longer convinces me. And if it doesn't convince me then it sure as hell won't anybody else. The catastrophe awaiting Kaye is largely driven by her Father's absence and her willingness to subscribe to his political ideology, but it is also facilitated by the intense friendship with her best friend, Carole. Carole is an incredibly influential and important person in Kaye's life and I need to spend more time establishing their friendship and cementing their strong bond.

I am fascinated by female friendships - particularly those formed during adolescence. The feelings I had for my own best friend during primary and secondary school were as fierce as any love affair. This is because at that time, it was the central relationship in my life. I owed her loyalty, protection and total commitment and she owed me the same. If either of us failed at any of these things, there would be hell to pay: hours of painful accusation, followed by days of silence, before the delicious satisfaction of burying the hatchet and making up. The desire to make it up to my friend overruled anything else - that kind of power can be dangerous. I think I need to further explore the dance of power and status between Kaye and Carole and demonstrate how this leads them to disaster.

So I have written 74,000 words so far. Funny how the word count becomes an indicator of some kind of success. 74,000 words, but I am not sure how close I am to a completed draft. Major revisions are under way and it is like renovating a house. Once you start attacking one section, you notice that some of the foundations are a bit wobbly and if you don't attend to this problem, the house will just come crashing down later on. Writing a novel probably takes as long as building a house.